YOU ARE REMARKABLE

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Sun, 23 Oct 2011 22:23:24 -0400

ask.ask.ask.ask.ask.ask.ask

podcast starting next week!!!!ask questions here.

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 20:15:49 -0400

podcast starting next week!!!!
ask questions here.

I'm in a city I don't love but in a program that I do, I'm torn, homesick and growing more resentful of everything around me each day. How do I make this positive again?

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 19:06:20 -0400

break routine. find the little things that you do love.
make a list of the the things you hate about the city. then write out their opposite (things you would love!). go on adventures, day by day to find the places in your city where those good things do exist. hopefully this can help you see that it’s not all bad, and there is good everywhere.
build a fort and spend the day inside. get comfy because you’ll spend the day: drinking wine from the bottle. painting your face. snuggling up with your favorite, favorite book.
what’s your favorite cuisine? find somewhere you’ve never been that serves this type of food and take yourself on a fancy date for an amazing meal. partner optional.
remind yourself that nothing is permanent. when i’m in a tough situation, i ask myself “can i do this for a week?” to which i reply “fuck yeah. i can do anything for a week.” stick it out week by week, and if it gets too much to bear, then you’re allowed to do what it takes to make it better (i’m assuming you won’t want to leave your program, but maybe it would mean leaving?)
actively ask yourself, “what would make things better right now?” (within the confines of what you can reasonably provide for yourself) and make that happen!
paint your room. change your sheets. cut your hair. get a new piercing.
remember that you love yourself, always.

you are right, i have to tell him before he leaves. but i don't know how to go about it, how to risk humiliation and wear my heart on my sleeve. i don't know how to overcome the age old fear of rejection.

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 16:07:13 -0400

what are your september goals?

Thu, 01 Sep 2011 00:29:35 -0400

what are your september goals?

So I am a freshmen in college, and was wondering how to connect with people without drinking,smoking,drugs, etc. I am outgoing sometimes, but once unsure have a low self-esteem. Thanks so much for your time!

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 17:58:47 -0400

i would recommend coffee shops (a great place for finding humans!), going to shows/seeing bands you like.

venture out solo and participate in activities that interest you, so that you’re putting yourself in a situation where you’re likely to meet strangers with similar interests.

also, if you’ve just started college, seek out information about all the clubs on your campus! same as above, follow your interests and you will have the opportunity to meet others who share them. maybe a dancing class or club? that’s a superb way to meet lots of people, plus you get to learn how to move your body, and that is such a great way to build your self-esteem!

what's it feel like? How do you know? What's it supposed to feel like after 13 years? I know not the same. Do you settle in to two people with different lives sharing a house and some kids? I feel like I should still get goosebumps when I'm touched. Is that too much to ask for? Can you fall out... or rather outgrow it?

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 17:57:00 -0400

you can always fall out, it can always be outgrown… after that amount of time (and i speak from experience) it’s natural to still want goosebumps, but you have to think about why you’re not getting them. has that spark been replaced with a steady, slow burn? instead of explosions, is it more the warm comfort of stability? the lost spontanaeity replaced by knowledge and history? those aren’t bad things at all - i went through the same thing last year, and i realized that all the things i thought i missed - that feeling in the pit of your stomach, the newness and excitement of getting to know someone new, and the flutter at someone’s touch - those settle into the things that really matter: knowing that the other person can basically read your mind; they know just what to say, and do (or not say or do!), they complement your existence and vice versa. with that much time invested, you really need to weigh what you want in an intangible sense, against what you can lean on when the going gets tough. if the solidity of a healthy, long-term relationship (especially with kids involved), does not outweigh your desire for something else (whatever that may be), that’s when you know it’s time to make a change. But if you can look at it and feel complete, then you figure out a way to recreate the sparks, to bridge the gap between the 2 people with different lives. make a point to improve communication, go on dates, rediscover each other, and hopefully you will find what you saw 13 years ago.

How is it that I've found a perfect human in someone that thinks they are too old for me? I'm 17 and he is 23. I'm in bits and pieces over this.

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 23:40:00 -0400

You maybe don’t want this to be true, but at 17, you might find lots of perfect humans… but just maybe you found the very best one so quickly.

Age means nothing. Age is really how old you feel, and how you see the world. Sometimes 17 is too old for 23. You might want to let him know that this universe is 13 billion years old. It took that long to grow the stars that died billions of years ago to make the atoms that eventually came together just at this moment to make up every bit and piece of you and him right now.

Only now.

When you are 82 and he is 88 is anybody going to think it odd? Does it ever matter what others think? It’s only the silly awkward difference of 17 and 23… silly numbers… too young to vote and buy a drink vs. old enough to mistakenly think that those days were so long ago. Silly.
But if you know that he is perfect for you, and if he thinks that you are perfect for him (except of course for that silly number) then wait, wait, wait. You’ll magically get closer every day. One day you’ll be 21 and he’ll be 27. And if he’s still just as perfect he’ll notice you’ve been right there all along, and he’ll have spent years finding nobody as perfect as you, and then and then and then!!!

do i tell him before he leaves?

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 22:26:27 -0400

yes.

what's it feel like? How do you know? What's it supposed to feel like after 13 years? I know not the same. Do you settle in to two people with different lives sharing a house and some kids? I feel like I should still get goosebumps when I'm touched. Is that too much to ask for? Can you fall out... or rather outgrow it?

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 22:26:00 -0400

Nobody can expect things to stay the same… the only thing we can really trust is that things will change and change and change again. The you that you are right now is not the you that you were 13 years ago, or even 13 minutes ago. Neither is your other.

No stranger can answer this question for you. Even your truest, closest friend couldn’t answer this question. Only you can. In fact, you know the answer already. You just need to trust in yourself and listen to what your heart is saying.

Here’s the thing… 13 years should seem so much more than it did after just one. It carries the weight of all that you’ve shared. Can’t you remember so many moments that were full of happiness and close to perfection?

But it’s different now. Things change. But I have a secret for you… you can let the change happen to you, or you can make it happen your way.

Have you shared your dreams? Have you both traded in your idea of a self for an idea of “us”? How can you get goosebumps if you don’t also try to give them sometimes? Do you remember why it all started? Why it has lasted 13 years? Is any of that still there? Is there something better and more substantial that replaces what was exciting but superficial? Is it too broken to fix? If so, it was always that way… you just didn’t recognize it, or acknowledge it.

We can fall out. We can outgrow. We can fall back in. We can grow together.
You know all the answers. Just be still and listen.

I want to stop myself from letting others' opinions affect me while believing in the validness of what I see. I don't want to be affected. I don't want to wait for their agreeableness to license what I've found out. I wish I can stand up for what I believe in, against their storms.

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 01:11:16 -0400

you can, you can! it’s tough to believe something other than popular opinion. the slightest remark can make you question what you believe. you need to know that what you believe has power, so much power.

will you marry me. no seriously, will you?

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 01:07:51 -0400

you are remarkable is married to the universe.

I see things. I see things as they are; in their mere realities. People are not always on the same wave to see things the way I do. I believe I am intuitive and I can see beyond things but you know, it always pulls me back and leaves me in doubt of trusting my mind or not when people don't agree with me or fail seeing what I see, I might accuse myself of being delusional in the weakest of moments. . How can I stop myself ?

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 01:24:59 -0400

do you really wish to stop yourself? it sounds like a beautiful thing although possessing such a thing which others cannot quite understand, which you cannot quite understand, is quite terrifying. delusions. do you completely believe the things that you see or can the things you experience be left up to interpretation?

Is it love if they treat you like shit? Anger and disgust and taking you for granted? I thought I knew, but it seems like I forgot.

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 01:09:49 -0400

it’s abuse & self abuse for staying. in a ‘love’ like that we forget what it feels like to be treated as a human & we stay because our hearts can trick our minds. when someone treats you rotten enough, consistently enough, you believe you deserve it. you don’t deserve it. if they love you this way you tear their heart out with your claws before smiling & leaving forever.

let's talk.

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 00:47:00 -0400

let's talk.